칼 로저스의 Way of Being- 본래의 자기와 체험된 자기의 만남

​본래의 나는 인지적이며 감각적으로 체험되고 있는 나와 같은가? 

아니면, 다른가? 

 

칼 로저스(Carl R. Rogers)는 A Way of Being에서 이 질문을 던진다. 

그는 공감과 경청의 중요성을 강조한 인물로 잘 알려져 있다. 

그는 기본적으로 '자기 자신을 대하는 태도'가 중요하다고 강조한다. 

자신을 이해하는 데 있어 감수성을 발휘하고, 자신을 깊이 있게 이해하려는 노력이 곧 그러한 태도를 키우는 것이다. 

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본래의 자기와 체험된 자기 간의 연계성과 일치성을 높이는 방법은 다음 세가지를 잘 실천할 때 가능하다. 

1) 임상 환경을 평가하지 말고 있는 그대로 받아들이고, 자신을 챙기고 격려하고 잘한 것에 상을 주는 태도 갖기(자기수용과 돌봄), 

2) 인간 그 존재에 대한 이해를 기반으로 경청과 공감하기(자기이해와 공감, 경청), 이를 통해 

3) 자기 경험의 새로운 측면을 볼 가능성을 높이는 것. 

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이러한 실천 노력이 있을 때, 체험된 자기를 더 깊게 이해하게 되고 본래의 자기를 만나게 된다. 요약하면, 공감과 경청을 잘 하도록 감수성을 키우고 자기 돌봄을  통해 자기이해를 높이고, 있는 그대로의 자기를 수용하는 것이 길이다. 

 

 

주요 상담 스킬

​1. 적극적으로 경청하기(active listening): 내담자에 관심을 갖고 공감하여 효과적으로 경청하기

2. 공감하기: 내담자의 정서 상태, 내면의 세계를 읽고 이해하고, 그 내용을 내담자에게 전달하기

​3. 즉시성(here and now): 지금 여기에서 경험되는 내용을 다루기

4. 자기 노출하기: 제한된 범위에서 상담자가 내담자에게 상담 목적으로 내면의 자기를 드러내는 것

5. 진실해지려고 노력하기: 상담자가 있는 그대로 솔직한 내면과 일치하는 언행을 하기

 

I wish now to back off and give a rather different perspective on the significance of empathy. We can say that when a person finds himself sensitively and accurately understood, he develops a set of growth promoting or therapeutic attitudes toward himself. Let me explain. (1) The non evaluative and accepting quality of the empathic climate enables him, as we have seen, to take a prizing, caring attitude toward himself. (2) Being listened to by an understanding person makes it possible for him to listen more accurately to himself, with greater empathy toward his own visceral experiencing, his own vaguely felt meanings. But (3) his greater understanding of, and prizing of, himself opens up to him new facets of experience which become a part of a more accurately based self, His self is now more congruent with his experiencing. Thus he has become, in his attitudes toward himself, more caring and accepting, more empathic and understanding, more real and congruent. But these three elements are the very ones which both experience and research indicate are the attitudes of an effective therapist. So we are perhaps not overstating the total picture if we say that an empathic understanding by another has enabled the person to become a more effective growth enhancer, a more effective therapist for himself. Consequently, whether we are functioning as therapists, as encounter group facilitators, as teachers or as parents, we have in our hands, if we are able to take an empathic stance, a powerful force for change and growth. Its strength needs to be appreciated,
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Finally, I want to put all that I have said into a larger context. Because I have been speaking only of the empathic process, it may seem that I regard it as the only important factor in growthful relationships. I would not wish to leave that impression. I would like briefly to state my views as to the significance of what I see as the three attitudinal elements making for growth, in their relationship to one another. In the ordinary interactions of life - between marital and sex partners, between teacher and student, employer and employee, or between colleagues it is probable that congruence is the most important element. Such genuineness involves letting the other person know "where you are" emotionally. It may involve confrontation, and the personally owned and straightforward expression of both negative and positive feelings. Thus congruence is a basis for living together in a climate of realness. But in certain other special situations, caring or prizing may turn out to be the most significant. Such situations include non-verbal relationships - parent and infant, therapist and mute psychotic, physician and very ill patient. Caring is an attitude which is known to foster creativity - a nurturing climate in which delicate, tentative near thoughts and productive processes can emerge. Then, in my experience, there are other situations in which the empathic way of being has the highest priority. When the other person is hurting, confused. troubled, anxious, alienated, terrified; or when he or she is doubtful of self-worth, uncertain as to identity, then understanding is called for. The gentle and sensitive companionship of an empathic stance - accompanied of course by the other two attitudes -
provides illumination and healing. In such situations deep understanding is, I believe, the most precious gift one can give to another.

출처: Empathic: An Unappreciated Way of Being, Carl R. Rogers.

 

번역서(A way of Being): https://product.kyobobook.co.kr/detail/S000000884180

사람 중심 상담 | 칼 로저스 - 교보문고

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